My husband tells my family about my problems. I am unsure why my husband tells his family about my problems, but this issue needs to be addressed. If you are in the same situation as me, this post will help you get some answers and even provide solutions for dealing with these issues!
Many marriages are strained because the husband tells his family every problem he has with his wife. This is unprofessional, but it could also cause problems at your wedding. There are several reasons why husbands tell their families their concerns and what you can do to help solve this issue so that you don’t have to worry about him telling his family about everything again!
Reasons Why My Husband Tells His Family our Problems.
There are many reasons why husbands tell their families about their marital problems. I will share some of my thoughts on this with you, but my main focus will be on providing solutions so that these problems don’t happen again!
1. Your Husband Is Afraid Of Your Reactions.
Your husband resolves to tell his family about your problems when he is afraid of your reaction, which may include anger, yelling, or even violence.
He may think that if he tells his family about the problems, they will help solve them, which is why my husband often goes to my in-laws for advice when we argue instead of discussing it with me directly.
2. Your Husband Is Too Much Attached To His Family.
When your husband is too attached to his family to make decisions without them, my husband often goes to his family for advice, and they usually advise him as my in-laws want the best for my husband, which may not be your goodwill.
A solution here can be that my husband should spend less time with my father-in-law and at least discuss things first with me before taking.
3. Having a Second Opinion.
Your husband tells his family your problems because he wants a second opinion from people outside the marriage on what to do in certain situations or someone else’s advice on how to solve a particular issue with you.
Having a second opinion in marriage could be helpful, but if your husband is telling his family all the time, it means he doesn’t trust you enough to solve marital issues.
4. Having an Outsider’s Perspective.
This could also mean they want an outsider’s perspective, so my husband thinks it would help him better understand himself and my wife!
This type of sharing is not suitable for any relationship, especially those involving intimacy, since there will always be some distance between them if something significant has been kept from each other by telling another person first.
5. When He disagrees with His Wife.
Some husbands tell their families everything because they disagree with what their wives want or say and don’t bicker about it.
It is frustrating when your husband tells his family everything, which often creates significant marriage problems. This type of sharing is not suitable for any relationship, especially those involving intimacy, since there will always be some distance between them if something significant has been kept from each other by telling another person first! In order words
6. Lack of Trust.
My husband tells his family about our problems because he trusts his family more than his wife. Lack of trust could be very disappointing.
Your husband might tell his family about your problems because he wants them to help him solve them or be there for him when you’re not around.
7. Showing Imperfection.
He wants to show that we’re not perfect, and they shouldn’t feel like they need to be either or better.
He wants his family to know him better and understand him, which is good. But my husband doesn’t see the adverse effects of telling them everything about us because he talks with them often and thinks they won’t judge or make it too big of a deal as we might. Taking your spouse’s side all the time can sometimes be
8. A Way of Coping with Stress.
Sharing struggles is a way for him to cope with the stress of life. To cope with stress, some husbands rely on telling their family everything about their relationship.
He is my husband and wants to talk with them because they are his family, but I don’t think it’s fair on my part or healthy for our marriage if he tells them everything that happens between us.
9. Avoiding Temptations.
He also tells them about my problems because he wants to avoid the temptations of his family and doesn’t want to go through with giving in to too much pressure from his parents for us to live close by, so they can see their grandchildren more often or help out around our house when we’re busy.
The Solution: What should you do When Your Husband Tells His Family about Your Problems
The man must realize that he needs to talk with his wife when there are issues or concerns, not just giving into everything asked for by his parents because it will cause more trouble in their marriage.
It’s also essential that the woman realize that she should not be too upset when her husband tells his family about their problems because this is part of married life. It can help out in some situations by opening up communication between them.
How do I stop My Husband from telling His Family our Problems?
There are several steps a wife could take to stop her husband from telling his family about their problems which are:
1. Talk to your husband about this situation.
Let him know you are uncomfortable with it by talking to him, sharing your concern which will help him understand that this is unacceptable to you, and then explain the consequences of telling his family about your problems.
Tell your husband what he can do instead, which may be writing down what happened in a journal, so they both know all the issues involved with their arguments or disagreements.
2. Be honest with your spouse about how you feel.
It is essential to be honest with your spouse when you feel bad when he tells his family about your problems, as this would cause a lot of trust and comfort issues in your marriage.
It is vital to talk about this with him when you feel like he tells his family everything; explain why it makes you uncomfortable or angry by letting my husband know how much I love my family, but I do not tell my friends my problems.
This will help my husband understand where my feelings are coming from and realize that not everything should be told to his family.
Telling my husband’s family my problems is a big mistake many husbands make, so my advice would be for your husband not to say to his parents about our issues as this might destroy the trust in our marriage.
2. Don’t let them know when you’re angry.
Being angry with your husband could only worsen things and increase the fear and lack of trust he initially had. So don’t be mad with your husband when you are in such a situation.
3. Keep a journal of what’s bothering you, and share it with your spouse.
Keeping a journal of your feelings and what is bothering you and then sharing it with him at the most appropriate time will help him realize what you want and how he can make a change suitable for your marriage.
4. Never tell him to leave them alone.
This is one mistake most women make by asking the husband not to come closer to them while arguing or discussing. But, of course, this will be considered insulting/humiliating because he cannot solve his problems without anyone’s help.
5. Make him understand that their family is not the only people in this world who love and care for them
This can be achieved when showing him how much you love and care for him. You can show your husband more love and care by sharing what you love and care about.
For example, my husband always has a good time joining his family on dinner or lunch outings, especially during weekends. He loves it because they treat me as one of their members. My husband needs to see this when you reciprocate such a gesture to his family.
6. Get out of the house – go on a date night or take up a hobby together.
You spend time together more often at home together. You can renew your bond by trying something new or going on a date night which my husband and I love doing together. My husband needs to see that you can be independent when he needs time for himself, but the most important thing is not ignoring him when he needs your support.
For example, my husband always comes home late after work on weekdays because of his hectic schedule at work, which I understand entirely since we are newly married, yet my family still nags about this matter whenever they meet us in person or chat with each other over phone calls even though my man already told them clearly why he could not make it on certain days;
However, I am upset that my mother-in-law will say, “my son has also been working hard these days like yours,” before she ends the call despite knowing fully that my husband is not even working with my family.
My mother-in-law always asks my man about our problems whenever they chat over phone calls, and she will feel so sorry for us, which I understand. But, still, it makes me upset, especially when my problem is the only one she thinks of despite having many other children in her life.
My explanation or justification did not matter during this time since my husband’s mom had already decided that we were miserable living under a bad start.
7. Talk to someone outside of the marriage (a therapist) about your feelings.
At some points, it is essential to talk to a therapist on this issue to express your feelings and thoughts about what is happening without being judged or misunderstood.
8. Improve communication.
Every couple must learn how to communicate without involving anybody outside their relationship, even if we think they will understand us better than anyone else. This helps improve communication between us and strengthens trust because there can be no secrets that are kept from one another.
Is it OK to talk to family about marital problems?
Not always. Each couple has to decide for themselves how much they want their family members involved in their lives and problems because not everyone is ready or able at any given time, whether due to lack of understanding, lack of maturity, or personal reasons that may be preventing them from opening up about certain things with other people outside the immediate family circle.
What you must know before talking to family about marital problems.
By talking through marital problems aloud with your family, feelings might be expressed more vibrantly than ever before, and things might start looking brighter in time too.
If you’re thinking about whether or not to talk with your parents about this issue, please know that their love for you will never change. Whether or not they agree with everything you do is irrelevant; their unconditional love for you has always been everlasting and won’t stop now.
The first thing you should do is figure out the type of relationship your family members have.
- Next, evaluate how comfortable they are discussing personal problems and what their expectations for a solution might be
- Finally, take into account how much time and energy you want to commit to this conversation and whether or not it will help to change the status quo in any way
- If you decide that talking to them about marital problems is worth it, then here’s some advice on how to go about it
a) Make sure that both partners agree on who will talk about marital problems with family members
b) Set up a meeting time when everyone can get together (in person or over Skype)
4) Take care of yourself by practicing self-care before and after the conversation – make sure you’re eating well and getting enough sleep so that your mental health doesn’t suffer during the process
What to do when your husband’s family is toxic.
When your husband’s family seems toxic as a bad apple, it is best to distance yourself from them and stop inviting them into your home or vice versa. You must also tell your husband that you need some space because they are not suitable for the both of you.
Your husband’s family can be toxic by wanting your husband to continue certain traditions and customs that you disagree with (i.e., celebrating Christmas, visiting them on a memorable holiday, or during the weekend) or gossiping about others which leads to mistrust in my marriage.
A toxic relationship with your husband’s family can cause unnecessary stress and tension. This can lead to other issues in your marriage, such as financial problems, infidelity, or even an extramarital affair, negatively affecting the quality of life both partners can enjoy together.
Why does my husband talk bad about me to his family?
When your husband talks wrong about you to his family, you must stay calm and try to understand why he dares do such a thing. Ask yourself if something you did or said could have caused him to say those things about you? See my post on “Why my husband calls me names ?” for more information.
Signs of a Bad Husband.
If any of the following is true, his words and actions likely come from a lack of respect for his partner. Hence he is a lousy husband.
- He has been verbally abusive to her over time.
- He has been physically abusive to her on multiple occasions.
- He doesn’t make time for the relationship.
- The sex has stopped or is infrequent without communication reasons.
- There are secrets he won’t tell you about his past or present life that worry you.
- She doesn’t feel safe with him or worries about what he might do next if they get into an argument.
If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s possible that he is not a good partner. But there’s no need for alarm – you can do plenty before things get worse.
A person – usually a girl or wife – who suffers from emotional, physical, and sexual abuse by a spouse is a victim of spousal abuse.
Abuse can take many shapes, including controlling what you wear, how you live your life, who you date, and where you go; overusing arguments to maintain the household environment; using threats or violence to induce fear, shame, or guilt; taking all major financial decisions without consulting the partner, etc.
Living in an abusive atmosphere has devastating effects on self-esteem and confidence levels. It also affects one’s ability to deal with stressful situations leading to mental illness.
Final Thoughts
It’s hard to keep your personal life private, especially with social media. But unfortunately, the unfortunate reality is that it can be difficult for spouses to find privacy when they are not living together anymore because their spouses will tell family members about what happened in the marriage.
If this sounds like something you’re struggling with or if you have a friend who these issues have confronted, drop us an opinion in our comment section below! We’d love to hear from someone who may know how to stop my husband from telling his family our problems and what should I do?
The end of this post has a call to action for the reader. They can drop their opinion in the comment section and tell us what they think about why my husband means his family our problems.
