“My husband doesnt support me emotionally” Many women in marital homes have this complaint.
So many things can be frustrating to a woman in marriage; from no attention to no help to so many other things, the list keeps going on.
But one thing that can make a woman lose it is a lack of emotional support.
Women are emotionally driven. I forgot to add highly emotionally driven; unlike men who think with their brains, most won’t think with their emotions.
It takes a lot of work and consistency to see a woman not act on her emotions. Women love when value is placed on their emotions and not neglected. Getting enough emotional support from your husband can be very frustrating.
First, let’s understand what emotional support is. What is emotional support “emotional support is giving care and attention both in a verbal and nonverbal form.” Not getting this support from your spouse can lead you to question many things about your spouse and marriage.
My Husband Doesnt Support Me Emotionally – 13 Quick Solution
How do you fix this, what should you do to get him to support you emotionally, these are 13 quick solution to this and they include:
1. Know The Difference In Orientation
Get to understand where he comes from and the environment in which he grew up. Know the orientation he was given from birth and the circumstances that made or marred him.
Most men grew up in an environment that didn’t give them the feeling of being cared for or their emotions being acknowledged.
They grew up watching their father or brother or uncle’s mother emotionally neglect their mother or wife. Some are being told that women don’t deserve that care.
Some may have had the wrong experience about supporting their partner emotionally.
This orientation and experience lead most men to neglect their partner’s emotions and also pay less attention to the needs for care and attention or little value placed on their efforts.
So first, know all this and can’t, with patience, open him up to value your emotions and support them.
2. Recognize Other Ways He Has Supported You
Most times, women get blinded by just a part of their husband’s neglect or become selfish about what they want, making them blind to see the other ways he has been supportive.
Look at your finance, project, work, children, and family; there is a way or two he has been supportive. Acknowledge this fact—place value on it.
That to be lashing about how he does not support you emotionally, emphasizing the aspect he has in your mind and with him.
Don’t go directly into the negative topic; find your route to it through the positive energy. Men enjoy being praised m, it makes them want to do to maintain that respect and also guard their ego.
3. Communicate With Them About How You Feel
Communication is important in sorting out issues with your spouse or partner. If you don’t say it out most times, there are possibilities that they will be unaware of what they did or are doing and keep living as if nothing happened.
Point out their emotional negligence towards you and how you feel about them not supporting you emotionally.
When meeting them to communicate your feelings, be careful with your manner of approach. Rub their ego, then swiftly let them know where they are lacking.
4. Make Your Request Known
In the process of communicating your feeling to them. Don’t go running around the bush. If your husband is the difficult one the tactic mentioned above will be of help.
Go straight to the point be firm and tell them how you want them to treat you and support you emotionally. Gently let them know how they can do it.
Don’t make it sound desperate, calmly let it out. It’s your right for your emotions to be valued and encouraged to avoid depression.
5. Don’t Hold Back His Wrong
Don’t be petty with your words, and I didn’t say to be harsh. Don’t try to Pamper his wrongs, make excuses for him, or try to justify his not being emotionally supportive towards you.
Talk to him about it. Point out his wrongs in a loving way. Be gentle about it. Don’t be selfish about it. While telling him his wrongs, make sure you are not found wanting. Always you the word we and not just you.
6. Meet A Counselor Or A Marriage Therapist
Seek the guidance of a counselor or a marriage therapist on how to go about it. Talk to your partner about the idea of having a session with the professionals to help sort out the matter and give ways to fix the negligence and go on the journey of healing together.
7. Be Patient And Understanding
Take your time seeing changes in the way he supports you emotionally.
Trust the process with him, and kindly remind him that you are on this journey with him, as he is willing to make changes and give you the emotional support you need in every other way he can.
Understand that change doesn’t happen instantly, especially human change, which has a particular orientation, belief, or concept about life.
Learn to take it a step at a time with him.
Marriage is not a one-person affair or work; it is a partnership. You are not to leave your partner alone in the journey of healing and learning, as he may get discouraged or tired if he does it alone. With this, you can show him how you want your emotions supported.
8. Be Gentle
As mentioned in the previous points, be gentle with him in this healing and learning process.
Two wrongs can never make it right, especially when he is willing to support you emotionally. Be gentle, be loving, and be patient with him.
9. Practice Patience
Practice the act of being patient. If you are the one who always wants things to happen immediately without due process and feeling, then you should learn the act of patience the human nature is not the food you cook that gets ready in a few minutes.
It takes days, sometimes months, to place focus or change from one pattern to another.
As they say, a patient dog eats the fastest born. When you lack patience, you tend to put a lot of pressure on your spouse, leading to him neglecting you more or choosing not to go further with the plans to support you emotionally.
10. Don’t Go About Telling A 3rd Party About Your Partner
There are a lot of homewreckers and people who lack a proper understanding of the institution of marriage.
Most women tend to talk about their partners to a third party, causing them to be belittled and looked down on for this behavior.
Some end up spreading negative rumors about your spouse, which may reach them, leading to another marital issue and a flame that won’t die out for a long time.
11. Know And Understand Their Season
We all have mood swings and sometimes longer in them for long. You must understand their seasons.
Most men tend to be emotionally detached from their partners when they are going through a rough season.
Knowing their season will help you understand why they are not emotionally supportive of you at that moment.
This gives a headway to help them find themselves and keeps you away from being selfish and unsupportive towards them.
Bringing them to light how their actions are affecting you emotionally and need urgent fixing.
12. Be Emotionally Supportive
Because your husband is not emotionally supportive, you should be sure you are or have been emotionally supportive of him.
Marriage is not a give-and-take system is a system of compromise. You should learn to show him how he needs to be emotionally supportive of his actions.
Most men are not into words, but they are into actions. After communicating your feelings and talking to them about what you want from them, show them how it’s them during their learning process.
13. Be Open When You Need Comfort
When you need their attention and comfort, be open and tell them what you desire from them. Don’t keep shut, expecting they’ll know what you want.
Let them know how you wish to be treated—having anxiety? Communicate with them. That’s one of the reasons they are your spouse and not a housemate.
While trying to fix or get the emotional support you need from your husband, be sure to know their reasons and understand the detail if they wish to change.
If the reverse is the case, understand when to let go and not need their validation or comfort.
Learn to find comfort from within.
If you want more information on this watch this video.