Funny how people think the number of years partners have spent together determines how long they last in the future. Dating for as long as five to ten years is not a guarantee of being engaged or committed to marriage, and being married for ten to twenty years is no guarantee of having a happy forever after.
When people hear marriage, the words knot and " eternal commitment come to mind. Taking a step higher in a relationship is likened to deciding to get engaged and, later, marry.
Marriage is sacred, so it’s reasonable and expected that married couples would try to hold on to it for as long as possible despite the many challenges they might face. This is why it isn’t easy to accept married couples divorcing after 20 years of marriage.
Some people view this matter skeptically, and to the single ones, this might influence their decisions when deciding to get married, but there is advice to look at the issue of divorcing after 20 years without judgment. Do people get divorced after 20 years?
If a straight answer is required, then yes. People get divorced after 20 years of marriage. But this is only understood by some.
One question might be Why now, after so long? But those going through the rough patch know better. It is not commonly known, but middle-aged divorces are also known as silver or diamond splitters or grey divorces. Instances of couples divorcing after being married for
twenty years or more are:
• Sylvester Stallone and Jennifer Flavin divorcing after 25 Years of marriage. Flavin and Stallone married in 1997 after starting to date in 1988, and they have three daughters: Scarlet, Sistine, and Sophia.
Stallone was praising his wife on Instagram as recently as May 2022. “Happy 25th anniversary to my amazing wife. There are not enough words to describe what this incredibly selfless, dedicated, patient woman has meant to our lives, and I only wish they could be another 25! Thank you, sweetheart,” he wrote.
Flavin did comment to People, but Stallone released a statement after news of their split broke. ” I love my family, and we are amicably and privately addressing these personal issues,” he said.
They are not the only Hollywood couple that called it quits after decades together.
• Dan Aykroyd and his wife, Donna Dixon, split after 39 years together. Dan Aykroyd and Donna Dixon announced their separation in May 2022 after 39 years together.
Aykroyd and Dixon have been together since 1983 when they tied the knot after starring in “Doctor Detroit” together. They appeared in multiple other projects after their wedding, including ” Spies Like Us” and “Exit to Eden.”
They share three daughters. In 2022, the couple announced their split and intention to stay legally married. “After 39 years as a couple, we are now on separate life paths. We remain legally married, co-parents, co-workers, and business partners.”
The couple told People in a joint statement. ” This is our choice in loving friendship.”
• Billy Ray Cyrus and Tish Cyrus filed for divorce after 28 years of marriage, from 1993
to April 2022. The Cyruses, who share five kids, including Miley and Noah Cyrus, wed in 1993 while Tish was pregnant with their second biological child, Braison.
The estranged couple filed for divorce in 2010 and 2013, but this time appears to be different. According to court documents, the exes have been separated for two years.
How Long Can A Married Couple Be Separated?
But for understanding, Legal separation is when you discontinue living with your spouse but follow specific living arrangements per a voluntary, written agreement.
If a spouse violates the agreement, the family court can enforce it. Unlike a divorce, a legal separation does not end your marriage.
There are many reasons why couples decide to separate instead of divorce legally. Some of the most common reasons are:
- They are not sure they want to get divorced
- They cannot afford to get divorced
Legally separating is not just physically moving out of the home you share with your spouse. To lawfully separate, a separation agreement needs to be signed.You can be separated legally for however long you and your spouse think is best.
However, if you plan to use your separation agreement as the basis for a divorce later, you and your spouse must have been living apart under your separation agreement for at least one year.
Married but separated for 20 years – Pros
1. To Escape A Violent Situation
Your safety and well-being should be a top priority. No one is safe in a violent situation. In an aggressive setting, you are not secure.
Make every effort to leave and find safety. And divorcing is one of the best options to do just that. Domestic abuse is one divorce pro that has no cons.
2. You Get The Freedom To Live The Life You Want
No rules, No restraints. Marriage is a labor of love that requires both partners to participate not just in day-to-day activities but also in compromise, communication, and the pursuit of common objectives.
The ability to fulfill these commitments to one another without giving up something that may be very important to you individually can sometimes seem impossible in some marriages.
One divorce expert will allow you to live your life without making any compromises, and that person is this one.
3. Making A Statement
The acquisition of Respect and commitment. When weighing the benefits of divorce due to infidelity or aggressive, controlling behavior from your spouse—behavior that they may not acknowledge or agree to stop—divorce or separation will help you regain self-respect, additionally, it will allow you to find a new, more deserving partner in life.
4. Alone Time
Being alone is sometimes good. It has its perks; one is giving you the time and space to clear your head up (away from all the marriage drama). Making all your decisions as a couple can lead to many restrictions and, in some cases, reduced opportunities.
Living independently as a couple enables you to take advantage of some beautiful experiences. It could be more enjoyable, liberating, and enjoyable. It could be more relaxing, freeing, and fun.
5. Improves Your Child’s Well-being
The effect of a divorce on children is an undisputed fact. Even if they might act like they have no idea about what is happening, rest assured that they do. Although they may not be able to think about what is going on in an adult manner, they can still recognize when something is right or wrong. In particular, divorce might benefit your kids if they don’t experience domestic conflict.
However, amicable divorces will always be much easier on your children, so if you are divorcing, it’s worth considering working hard to make the separation agreeable. One of the positive impacts of divorce is if they no longer have to experience arguing at home.
6. It Can Improve Your Relationship With Your Spouse
The time and space apart are just what you need to improve your relationship. when you remove all of the obligations and pressure that your marriage imposes.
You’ll feel relieved and have more room to improve your marriage. Divorce can mean changing your marriage into a friendship instead of removing your spouse from your life.
Married But Separated For 20 Years –Cons
1. The Negative Effect on the Children.
One of which is psychological. An example of a pro and con to divorce that can lead to a problematic situation is the impact on children. In a positive light,
having a healthy environment will benefit the kids more than growing up in a bad one. On the other hand, they will feel loss, fear, and instability throughout the procedure.
As a parent, it should be your priority to make it easier on them by working with your spouse in a friendly manner. Maintaining routine, security, and reassurance from both spouses while outlining.
2. Divorce Is An Expensive And Financially Challenging Process.
It will be more expensive to divide up the marital home and live separately than if you stay together as a couple and a family. Your standard of living could also decrease. You’ll probably both want to spend the holidays alone, with the kids, if there are any children involved. Both material and financial support must be provided for them.
There will also be costs associated with dividing or replacing household necessities and divorce settlement costs. Divorce will hurt your finances, which is one of its drawbacks.
3. Emotional Effect Of Divorce
Everything you’ve worked for has fallen apart, and if you have kids, you’ll probably feel worried and guilty about how your divorce has affected their lives. You didn’t get married to get divorced, and the idea of divorcing your spouse may horrify you.
It might be difficult to consider going it alone or starting over. Due to the increased financial strain that divorce brings, you might spend less time with the kids than you did before.
Conclusion
Whether it is anticipated or not, divorce is devastating and overwhelming. While the emotional effects will eventually fade, they can be complicated to deal with in the short to medium term. The emotional effects will last for a very long time. The advantages and disadvantages of divorce are all relevant, but it’s crucial to avoid avoiding a necessary divorce because of the drawbacks, and the opposite is also true.
Assessing the benefits and drawbacks of divorce can help you put things into perspective and realize the path you might take after filing for divorce. It also encourages you to take the time and seriously consider whether filing for divorce is the best course of action for you.
