In a world where misunderstandings and miscommunication persist, being unable to talk to your husband without him getting angry and having arguments has become a common problem. Every relationship goes through a phase where speaking and listening to each other become challenging.
“I don’t know why my husband won’t talk to me” is a phrase many married ladies have used at some point. Recognize that you are not alone if this is where you are.
Men often cease communicating in their marriages for a variety of reasons. For instance, when their wife offends them, some men do not communicate in their marriage. In any case, it can be frustrating at first when the husband avoids speaking to the wife. After all, poor communication can cause marriages to fall apart.
The best way to understand your partner’s emotions is to have open and regular conversations. Whenever you’ve said, “My husband ignores me,” there’s no reason to freak out. It’s not unusual for some men to stop talking because men and women communicate differently.
Here are five reasons why your husband gets angry when you want to talk to him
He Doesn’t Want An Argument
Your husband avoids discussing issues in order to prevent arguments. Since it’s difficult to imagine a grownup being afraid of any conflict, this may sound weird.
Because they are afraid of potential disagreement, many men quit talking in their marriages. This might qualify as a loving gesture. How? It’s simple to understand! Your husband cares for you so much that he is afraid that if he brings up the issue, you two would fight.
Instead, he would rather remain silent and wait for the problem to go away on its own or for you to make amends. So, if you ever think, “My husband doesn’t communicate with me,” just remember this. Alternately, “My husband won’t talk to me.” He can be motivated by a dread of conflict.
2. You Don’t Appreciate Your Husband Enough
The fact that most men believe their wives don’t value them sufficiently is another strong reason why they quit speaking in their marriages. That leads to the spouses saying, “My husband won’t talk to me,” to everyone who will listen. Alternatively, “My husband doesn’t talk to me.”
The least a guy should ask for in return for giving his wife everything is respect. Your husband might avoid you if you don’t offer him this or if you give him less of it. This is one of the reasons why you can’t talk to your husband without getting him angry.
3. Your Husband Is Ashamed
Even men experience shame. No matter how tough you may believe your husband is, there are instances when he doesn’t take his mistakes too seriously. Therefore, because he is less proud, your husband avoids discussing issues.
Another difficulty that occasionally surfaces in the first few years of a marriage is this one. Remember that you are only getting to know each other. Even after years of dating, getting married is a very different experience. Men stop talking to one another in their marriages because they don’t want you to witness their frailty.
4. He Has Other Priorities
Thoughts such as “My husband ignores me.” “My husband won’t talk to me,” or “My husband doesn’t talk to me about anything.” are not strange in some marriages. They usually happen when a man is preoccupied with other things in his life. This is one of the reasons why you can’t talk to your husband without getting him angry.
That doesn’t mean he cares less about his marriage. It just means he is passionate about other things in his life, making his marriage smoother. For example, a man in his late 30s and 40s focuses on making more money for his family. In the quest to provide a stable life for his wife and children, a husband may refuse to talk about problems.
5. He Feels You Can’t Solve His Current Problems
Once more, one of the key distinctions between men and women is that the former thinks every communication should have a point. They almost never have small idle conversations.
Because he believes you can’t solve his problems, your husband is hesitant to talk to you. He, therefore, prefers to remain silent to communicating with you. While most women find this unjust and self-centered, it does occur.
Because their spouses were powerless to intervene when they encountered issues in the past, some men stopped talking in their marriages. Although there is no justification for dozing off during a conversation, this could be the reason you feel your husband doesn’t speak to you about anything.
6. He Wants To Get At You
Unfortunately, no two people can behave in the same way. Even twins exhibit distinct behaviors. As a result, you could find your husband’s techniques odd. Others feel you should know the correct thing to do, but others just talk when they need something.
They, therefore, choose to remain silent and watch you struggle as a result, as opposed to interacting with you. In an effort to earn your attention, affection, and care, they employ a strategy of holding back. This is one of the reasons why you can’t talk to your husband without getting him angry.
The fact that this is an unhealthy way to live with your partner must be made clear. Some men utilize this straightforward tactic to get their point across. The scenario becomes more complicated because the wife frequently doesn’t even recognize what’s wrong.
What To Do When You Can’t Talk To Your Husband
It can be beneficial to your marriage to know what to do when your husband avoids communication. To understand how to handle a situation where your husband doesn’t want to communicate with you, look over the following
1. Find A Time When There Are No Distractions
Some husbands get angry when their wives talk to them because communicating with them at that time is distracting. To have a good discussion with your husband, you need a quiet space to relax and engage in conversation.
This might be an issue if you have young children. You could wait until they’ve gone to bed for the night before asking your husband for some time to talk to him.
Ultimately, you want to avoid interruptions when you engage in conversation.
You could go to a restaurant, but you must ensure it is a quiet area where you can have your own private space without distractions.
2. Show Him More Care
Due to a lack of attention from their spouses, some men in marriages quit communicating. The least you can do is treat your partner with more respect if he goes to such lengths to make you happy. It won’t hurt to increase it, even if you’ve done so before.
For instance, inquire further about his day and any concerns he may have. Be sincere and deliberate in this action. He might alter his mind and tell you what’s wrong because it’s so attractive.
3) Consult A Marriage Counselor
In some circumstances, your husband won’t speak to you no matter what you do. However, there are approaches to solving the issue. Getting expert assistance is a fantastic strategy. Going the professional route may provide another viewpoint if none of your methods work.
For instance, therapists and marriage counselors are the finest people to assist you in getting your partner to talk.
4. Don’t Attack Their Person
In some cases, no matter what you do, your husband will not speak to you. However, there are solutions to solving the issue. Getting professional help is a good strategy. Going the professional route may also provide you with another insight into the issue if it feels like none of your methods are helping.
For example, the ideal people to aid you in getting your partner to talk are therapists and marriage counselors.
5) Don’t Play The Blame Game
There are nearly always two sides to every story, especially when there is an issue in the relationship, such as poor communication.
Yes, it’s possible that your spouse is more to blame for his lack of communication, but bringing it up in that way only makes it appear petty and like you’re trying to score points.
In the same vein, avoid mentioning earlier conflicts to highlight who has strained the relationship more. Focus on the current issue, which is your husband’s lack of communication. Concentrate on what matters. Keep your ego out of it.
Now, if you and he have spoken honestly, plainly, and maturely about the real reason he isn’t communicating with you, that’s excellent. It’s crucial to keep going and keep monitoring if you both decide to concentrate on communication in your relationship.
However, if, over time, you notice that he isn’t getting better (or even trying), it could be necessary to take more extreme measures.
Can people change? Undoubtedly, they can. But they also need to demonstrate their desire to change through their actions.
It’s easier said than done, as the adage goes. Always consider their behavior when making a decision.
6) Create Time For Fun Things Together
Engaging in pleasurable activities alongside your husband is a step you can take when talking to him gets difficult. A connection is intentionally woven together. It is vital to bring you all together and facilitate the conversation.
Making a strong, enduring bond requires more than just having fun all the time and swinging from chandeliers. It also involves doing boring things together.
The more your lives are connected, the more time you spend doing chores and hanging out in general rather than going on fun dates and experiences. This is partially an expected result of being married.
So remember that just because you’re married, the fun has not finished.
You must be careful not to let your relationship become solely about conserving money and having responsible nights. There is no either/or situation here.
You’ve heard the saying, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” right? It often implies, “We don’t do fun things together anymore.”
A connection is woven together by shared enjoyment. It plays a significant role in your shared identity.
At first, the main focus was on having fun. It can’t be anything right now. However, you can be sure that it is still a sizable feature.
How do you carry this out? Even though it’s boring, set aside some enjoyable time.
If it isn’t occurring naturally, you must take steps to ensure that it does.
A Sunday movie date or a warm night in now and then. Whatever you and your husband find acceptable.
7) Try The 10-Minute Rule
The 10-minute rule may be familiar to you.
Relationship specialist Terri Orbuch created the phrase.
She even claims that the 10-minute regimen is the best one a couple can establish in her book, “5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great.”
Your next concern is, “What the hell is this 10-minute rule?”
The rule is “a daily briefing in which you and your spouse make time to chat about anything under the sun – except children, works, and domestic tasks or responsibilities,” according to Orbuch.
Naturally, to participate in this activity, you’ll need to prepare some questions beforehand.
Here are some ideas
- Has the 10-minute rule ever been mentioned?
- Relationship specialist Terri Orbuch came up with the name.
- What will people remember you for most?
- What do you think your best quality is?
- What do you think is the most fantastic song ever written?
- What one thing in the world would you alter if you could?
Here, the goal is to have a conversation about something unusual. Talk about something fascinating.
You might believe that you are entirely in the loop about each other’s opinions, but I guess you’d be mistaken. For everyone, there is more to discover.
You might even discuss the past and all the enjoyable times you’ve shared.
That will send his thoughts racing in all directions.
The zeal that strengthens two devoted people is the marriage between them. A lack of communication might undermine the foundation you have established.
For a variety of reasons, many men quit talking in their relationships. Their entire wives, themselves, or another factor may be at fault. The best solution is to speak with your partner, even though it can be frustrating for the wives.
At first, your husband might be reluctant, but the strategies discussed in this article have been shown to work for many couples. Another option to support your marriage is to seek professional assistance from a therapist or marriage counselor.