If you are among the women worried about how to tell your husband the marriage is over, then this article is for you. A lot of women in marital homes are worried about how to end their marriage.
Sometimes our decisions may be for the best, but how we convey them to others may be wrong. It is important to note the right way to relate a piece of information that is life-impacting, like a divorce.
What words do you use, how do you use them and when do you use them? What actions do you carry a and t, and when and why do you do those actions?
All these have diverse effects, especially in relationships. What happens when your husband is adamant about your decisions? What do you do about that situation?
Should you be hasty and straightforward when saying, ‘ I do not want to be in this marriage anymore?
How To Tell Your Husband The Marriage Is Over -11 Steps
I believe that divorce should be taken in stages, the same as how the relationship began in stages. Below are 11 steps that will be helpful in making your partner aware of your resort to dissolve your marriage.
1. Body Language
Sometimes our words cannot convey the urgency and importance they should, and acting them out would serve a better purpose. It is better to start by using your body language to send the message across.
If need be, act absent-minded and make him ask for reasons. This will provide a prompt for a discussion, and then you can disclose your fears and thoughts to him.
It is important not to get to the extreme with body language. Let it be done without violence and aggression. It is better to think of ways you usually use when you are upset with him. Make it more pronounced by adding a statement.
If your husband is observant, he will surely notice and respond. Actions speak louder than words. Let your actions speak.
2. Bridge Your Intimacy
Intimacy sends the signal of longing, and it will be foolish to cling to your husband and bond with him when you want a divorce. Avoid being intimate with him. Whenever he needs you to hold his hands, do not.
Avoid opportunities that will lead to bear hugs and kisses. Whenever he is communicating with his love languages, he acts oblivious to them.
Do not create or encourage any chance to be intimate with your husband. It will only complicate the process. Do not try to be intimate out of pity for him.
The earlier he has knowledge of your intentions, and the better it is for both of you. It will be easier to inform him about your decision to separate from him. Your husband will question the dismissal of his advancements which you usually warm up to.
3. Stop Spending Time With Him
Although absence makes the heart grow fond, it is also true that ‘out of sight is out of mind’.
It is better to always scramble out of his sight and make it known that you no longer want to be in the same proximity as he is. Spending more time outside the home than in it will make it easier to avoid him.
Give excuses, even flimsy ones, to be distant from him. When you are in the same room with him, stay at the far end, farther from him. He will try to come close, and you should strive to go farther.
Eventually, he will cave in and demand reasons for your actions. Avoid doing the chores, driving out, traveling, and even strolling together.
4. Deny Him Sex
No married couple would love to intentionally deny their partner’s sex. But if you want to be separated from your partner, then you have to deny him sex.
This decision will add a stronger claim to the words you have already told him.
Sex is one of the important reasons for marriage, and it proves that you both were physically attracted to each other. Denying him sex implies that you do not want the marriage to continue.
It also shows that you no longer yearn to give and share pleasure with him. What, then, is the essence of the marriage?
5. Seek The Help Of A Therapist
People are different and can not be approached with the same pattern. In the case where you do not know how to go about these steps or even attempt them, you should seek the help of a therapist.
A therapist will know the right way to indulge you and your husband in the need, processes, and effects of separation and divorce. The therapist will also affirm the fact that you need a divorce and should get one.
6. Try Communicating
Apart from using signs and gestures, indirect means, and actions, you should also communicate with your husband. Inform him that you are no longer interested in the relationship. He might not react calmly, may still be in love with you, and not want to let go; these are expected.
But it is important that you both have a conversation about your decision to divorce him. After all, your relationship started with conversations, and it is only right that you both talk about it.
Through your texts and verbal expressions, he could also get a hint that you are no longer interested in the relationship with him. Your words should not be vile or disrespectful. Let out your thoughts with the right expressions.
7. Give Him The Silent Treatment
Most people can not stand being ignored by people they love or are in a relationship with. It sends pain and discomfort to them. Your husband will begin to think of reasons you do not want to talk or respond to him.
This step may be herculean, but it will be worth it. Snub him, and listen to other things when he is trying to talk to you. Act and make him feel as though he is invisible to you.
There is power in silence. Use it to your advantage. Silence irritates people, and it yields a sudden force of anger. He will eventually ask for a conversation to rectify the situation.
8. Be Ready To Move Out
Moving out is the ultimate decision. It will make it possible to avoid him, bridge intimacy and not speak to him too. Moving out will be the last straw to break the camel’s back, and he will come to terms with the fact that you want a divorce and eventually let go.
It is advisable to move out to an environment that is farther away from the home you both shared. Also, discard every item that will make sure to keep you both in touch.
If there is a child or children, ask a driver to always drop them off and pick them up from his place.
Moving out of your home will indicate that you strongly do not want to be with him anymore.
9. You Could Try To Be Uncaring
This step does not entail acting uncaring, and it means that you should be uncaring. Drop every ounce of pity and sympathy towards your husband. Be nonchalant about things that do concern him.
You could stop cooking for him, doing his laundry when he forgets, and picking up things for him from the market.
Tell him that you are not concerned about his well-being anymore. Avoid his calls and do not check up on him.
It will also make the separation phase easier for both of you because you have already let go of your feelings for him. Let go of every ounce of commitment to the relationship.
10. Flirt With Other Men More And Rub It In His Face
This step will result in making him jealous and driving him far away from you. He may begin to think that you are having an affair and not attach any importance to him. Men boil in rage at the thought of their women being with other men.
It is an unforgivable and unforgettable act. It will cause him to avoid you and even look for ways to pay you back or make you jealous.
All of this leaves a statement and an indication of separation. Crowning the act with the announcement of a divorce will not make it easily accepted on the grounds that you both are no longer compatible.
11. Serve Him Divorce Papers
What other way to declare a divorce intention than to drop the papers in his hands?
He may not believe that you are ready despite all your actions in words. When you materialize the divorce papers, it will entail that you are serious and have legal backing for your decision.
Seeing is believing and proof that you are ready to be legally and officially separated from him. Also, sign the papers, and he will be left with the decision of signing them too.
Seeking divorce is the right of every woman if they can no longer continue in their marriage. It is an advantage to using the right steps.
Not only will it bring about a drama-free divorce, but your relationship with your husband alone will not be resolved if you take the right steps.
Do not be pressured into being in a relationship you no longer feel comfortable in. Seek help and let go of your mental, physical, and emotional well-being.