How To talk To Your Husband About Sexless Marriage (9 Clear Steps)


Majority of women in a relationships, marriages have a problem with how to communicate with their husbands about sex. If you are among these women and you are worried about how to talk to your husband about sexless marriage. Then this article is for you.

Although sex is not the main determinant of a happy relationship, the absence of sex and intimacy in your marriage can cause serious relationship problems like resentment, infidelity, communication problems, low self-esteem, and isolation, all of which can cause irreparable harm to the relationship and cause it to end.

In this article, we will be talking about steps to take when you are answering questions on how to talk to your husband about sexless marriage.

How To talk To Your Husband About Sexless Marriage -9 clear step

While sex may not be the only factor in a relationship, it plays a significant role for many people. What transpires then if your partner no longer desires sex when you are in a relationship?

Although it might be difficult to deal with, it really occurs more frequently than you might realize; thus, learning how to bring up a lack of intimacy with your partner is a crucial skill to have.

In this article, we will be talking about 9 clear steps on how to talk to your husband about sexless marriage and they include:

1. Learn To Communicate

What constitutes effective communication in a marriage? In a strong relationship, partners communicate openly, freely, and confidently, expressing even their most private ideas.

When obstacles happen, they speak their worries and emotions with ease and consideration, and when things are going well, they speak their optimistic views.

When you talk to your husband about this, it gives room for solution, amendment, and results. Most times men gets too busy and may neglect their roles to play.

They also in the same vein think you are okay with the flow and all, if you do not talk about it, they may not know.

For the busy men, they will try to add you to their schedule, in that way, you don’t get to experience a long time of sexless marriage.

Learn To Communicate

2. Re-examine Your Roles

A relationship needs both masculine and feminine energies to prosper. Similar to the positive and negative charges on a magnet, these opposing energies produce polarity in a relationship when they come together.

Whereas male energy is motivated by striving for an objective, feminine energy places a greater emphasis on emotion and connection. A successful relationship requires both masculine and feminine energy from both partners, regardless of gender.

Consider the roles that both you and your spouse have played in your marriage. Do they now differ from before? Has the more feminine partner taken on a new role that calls for more results-oriented traits? Has the masculine energy source been forced to relinquish his role as the provider?

You and your partner may have already been embodying energies unsuitable for you for a considerable amount of time if you have started to wonder whether your sexless marriage will last.

Maybe the male partner needs to feel more like they are supporting your family, or maybe the female partner wants to feel like she can take care of the male partner.

Regardless of your physical gender, returning these energies to their proper places can assist in raising your emotional intelligence.

3. Self-Analyze Your Sexual Life

Anything that you and your husband find enjoyable can be a part of your sex life. Daily, weekly, monthly, or less frequent sex. Holding hands, kissing, or snuggling without needing to continue with sexual contact.

Before you approach your husband, invest some effort in self-reflection.
First, examine yourself. Consider the routines in your sex life that aren’t functioning right now and consider your role in contributing to them.

Do you start sex? What are you doing—or not doing—right now? Do you ever exert pressure on your spouse? Are you receiving their opinions on what works and what doesn’t for them? Decide to bring up a few of these ideas during the discussion.

When you self reflect or analyze your sex life, it gives you insight on what to talk about or suggest to make better your marriage sexually.

4. Address The Issue With Positivity

Focus on the benefits that addressing the sex issue would bring to the relationship rather than outlining what the relationship lacks to begin the conversation.

Start the dialogue by outlining your desire for greater closeness and a solidified bond. As well ask your partner what their ideal definition of intimacy is.

You are assisting your partner in shifting their attention from initial anxieties or insecurities that can result in defensiveness or even rage to the bigger picture by helping them base the talk on hope and a positive future vision.

Bring the discussion back to your “picture of ideal closeness” whenever it starts to veer off course or become off-topic.

When you talk about the issue with your husband positively, instead of getting criticisms, he sees the need to do better, and hope to.

Remember, it is not what you say, it is how you say it. This makes your marriage better, because he will think to improve on his sexual activities with you.

Address The Issue With Positivity

5. Avoid Playing The Blame Game, It Doesn’t Make It Better

Avoid finger-pointing and the blame game at all costs while discussing sex with your husband.

Being sympathetic and observant of both yourself and your partner is crucial in this situation.

Refrain from letting your partner use your perceived contributions to the problem as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility when you discuss your believed contributions.

Respect is reciprocal, and you are both equally accountable for your current habit of sexual avoidance as you are for your decision to cooperate in trying to change it. Keep in mind that this discussion is not about assigning blame. It involves identifying patterns in your sex life that are ineffective and pledging to collaborate to create new patterns.

6. Collaborate To Solve The Problem

It is indeed crucial to keep in mind that the two of you are a team when handling any problem in your relationship, particularly those involving intimacy.

Work together to discover a solution that satisfies your needs. Together, discuss what works and what doesn’t for you. If what you are doing right now isn’t working, ask your husband about his needs, wants, and boundaries.

7. Keep The conversation Open

Working out the problem could take some time; therefore, it is important that you keep in constant contact. There isn’t always a one-talk cure for sexlessness.

Start conversations about intimacy and sex frequently, but don’t take them too seriously. Speak about the qualities you admire in them. Be fun and teasing. What turns them on?

Keep The conversation Open

8. Understand That There Is No Right Amount Of Sex

There may be many feelings and comparisons when you try to solve a problem with your partner. Try to keep in mind that there is no right amount of sex that constitutes a healthy relationship.

Recognize that neither of you does have the upper or lower hand. You are both not disadvantaged in any way. You can be healthy and desire sex every day or healthy and never desire it. Look for answers rather than attempting to assign blame.

9. Talk To A Therapist Or A Marriage Counselor

Having these types of talks can be tough because they demand a certain level of openness, but that vulnerability has the potential to pull you closer since it’s so intimate.  Getting help from a professional if you aren’t moving forward or if you simply need some support. “If you frequently run into difficulties, think about asking a professional for help.”

A sex coach, educator, or therapist who specializes in sexlessness will be able to give you communication tools and frameworks to help you guide the conversation in a more fruitful and effective way.

If you keep running into obstacles, consider reaching out to a professional for support.
Therefore persevere, treat one another with kindness and compassion, and find a solution to the problem as a group.


Although it might not happen overnight, an improved sex drive is feasible. You and your hubby need to make a commitment to attempting new things. Support one another while you receive treatment. Low sex drive can grow better collectively and over time.

The preceding explanations clearly describe what to do if you are a woman going through a sexless marriage.

You can get back on track with efficient communication and take the necessary actions as advised.
You can watch the video below if you want to learn more about this specific topic.

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