It is true that a lot of people have issues dealing with the notion “divorcing someone you love”. Marriage is, after all, a long-lasting relationship based on love and respect. Until the love and respect run out and you have to decide whether to call it quits on your marriage, at least.
But what should happen when a relationship continues despite the collapse of everything around it? The idea that two married people would divorce while still in love with one another almost defies reason. Who in their right mind would do such a thing?
Your spouse may be the person you spend the most time with, go on the most thrilling adventures with, or work through some of life’s toughest obstacles with. As you reflect on everything that makes your relationship with this person the best it can be, your heart may be filled with love and admiration.
Except that you find them intolerable. To wake up next to them is intolerable. They repeatedly hurt you or drive you crazy. To you, their bad habits grate on your nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard every day.
They might have poor money management skills and spend all of their money on unnecessary luxuries rather than on necessities like rent.
They might have poor parenting practices that contradict all of your common sense. Everything is legitimate if you want to be happy. And a lasting relationship cannot be sustained by love alone.
Divorcing Someone You Love In 7 Steps
In this article, we will be talking about how to divorce someone you love in Seven steps. However, people indeed feel very guilty about divorcing, we will tell you how to move on from a partner after divorce. some of these steps include:
1. Accept This Situation As It Is.
It would be a mistake to put on a happy face or pretend that “everything is fine” to make those around you believe that you are managing this life change like the strong, capable person you have always been.
During this turbulent time, there is no need to play the role of a hero. Your friends and family can’t offer to help you deal with the pain if you don’t let them see that you’re in pain.
Release it. Be truthful. Inform them that you are broken, love your partner, and need their support as you deal with this major life event.
Divorce typically entails significant change and upheaval. It’s possible that you have to leave the family or marital home. Now that you’re single, you might be under a more financial strain, and if you have kids, you’ll have a whole host of issues to deal with.
It’s a good idea to approach change methodically, make a to-do list, and take it one task at a time rather than feeling overwhelmed by your uncertain future. This will make the difference seem less frightening and much more manageable.
Accepting the situation will help you in moving on. This may not be what will make you move on immediately, but it is essential and the first step to take when divorcing.
2. Look For A Support Group
People going through a divorce can connect, talk, cry, and share their stories in various community groups. Knowing that you are not alone in what you are going through is comforting.
Make sure an experienced counselor is leading the support group to prevent the meetings from turning into a string of complaints without any solution-focused guidance being given.
It makes more sense when you are around people who have gone through the same phase, so them talking about how they dealt with their trauma and sharing their experiences will help you move on. The best thing to do is learn from other people’s experiences.
Make sure you have support from friends and family if you need it during this difficult time. Plan a gathering, go out for drinks, or drop by for a chat. You might feel less alone and isolated if you seek support from those close to you.
You’ll discover that those closest to you are eager to assist you in any way they can, even if that means just giving you practical advice or a sympathetic ear. Seeking support or asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
This may not be the ultimate step, but it is also vital if one wants to move on from divorce.
3. Quit Self-critical Thoughts.
Blaming yourself for continuing to love them after what they did to you. “is neither helpful nor accurate.
You’re not a bad person, and you are a kind, giving person whose core values are love and understanding. Even if the other person chooses to end the relationship, feeling love for someone who has been your life partner for a long time is not something to be ashamed of.
As a result, refrain from using negative self-talk and keep a positive outlook.
It is better to look forward to the future than live in regrets or negative thoughts about yourself. It makes more sense to always have positive reviews when dealing with situations.
This may not be the absolute move when dealing with divorce, but it is an essential step to take when going through a divorce phase.
4. Give Yourself Time To Recover
You’ll likely experience many negative emotions that must be dealt with along the way as you come to terms with the fact that your marriage has failed for whatever reason. Guilt, shame, and sadness are just a few of them.
However, you might experience a wide range of different emotions if a relationship ends as a direct result of unreasonable behavior. Feeling angry or bitter is ubiquitous, and these emotions can encourage irrational or destructive behavior.
To begin the process of healing and regaining happiness, you must find a way to get past any unfavorable, unhealthy feelings.
It’s important to understand that recovering from a divorce takes time, especially when you didn’t start.
Good days, bad days, and days when you feel like you’re not moving forward will leave a mark on your grief calendar.
However, have faith in the procedure: Are those tiny fissures you can make on the horizon? They allow light to pass through.
And one day, you’ll wake up and discover that you spent no time thinking about your ex and what they did in the previous hours, days, or weeks.
5. Keep Your Feelings In Mind
Negative emotions like resentment or anger can grow faster and more quickly if you ignore them. They can devastate your well-being as they gnaw away at your subconscious, giving rise to anxiety and even depression.
Recognizing your feelings and assessing them objectively is a great tip. Some of your feelings might not be justified, while others might be normal and justified.
Giving yourself time, space, and permission to grieve the end of the relationship is healthy. Doing so will eventually lead to acceptance, aiding your healing process.
It cannot be very comforting to consider moving forward in life without them by your side after spending what could have been many years together.
However, divorce may present the best chance for development and self-discovery. Divorce can be a liberating, affirming experience because decision-making becomes yours and yours alone, and there is no one else to defer to or compromise with.
Spend some time concentrating on your sources of happiness. It’s possible that your part in the relationship required you to give up certain things, whether to spend more time with the other person, care for the family, or stop doing something you once enjoyed because your partner didn’t share your interests.
This is the perfect time to rediscover what brings you joy and make plans for the future to aid in your recovery.
6. Engage In A Challenging New hobby.
Feeling lonely can be excruciatingly difficult to deal with because it significantly impacts general mental health, but it is rarely discussed about divorce.
For people who have experienced both divorce and severe loneliness, It can be attested to the value of being kind to yourself (learning to recognize and stop any negative self-talk) and taking actions that will make you more sociable.
7. Consult A Professional
If you’ve given yourself some time and still have trouble accepting the divorce, you might need professional assistance.
While your GP can assist you if you feel stress, anxiety, or depression has taken hold; counseling can teach you new skills and coping mechanisms to aid your healing.
You must learn to be content with being alone if you want to find love again. This will enable you to communicate with another man comfortably rather than from a place of desperation (and it will happen!).
When the man you were in love with decides he isn’t any longer, it’s common to experience sadness and a sense of loss. But remember that you have now joined a sizable group of fellow travelers who have made it through their post-divorce lives and ultimately thrived.
Be patient, kind to yourself, and cling to the belief that you will find love again.